Self Confidence: The Motor That Propels Success

“If you haven’t confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.” – Marcus Garvey,

Self confidence is the belief that you can do or achieve something. Whether it is to complete a project, give a presentation, talk to the guy/girl of your dreams, compete athletically, complete a course of study successfully, etc. Without confidence it will be difficult for you to succeed. 

Self confidence provides us with optimism, and energizes us to propel forward towards our goals.  With confidence, we find it easier to do what is required to achieve our desires.  Where it is lacking, we become timid, doubtful, afraid to try.

There are different levels of confidence that you experience when faced with different situations and objectives. Generally, for those things that you believe to be easily attainable you exhibit greater levels of confidence, while for those things that are strange or perceived to be outside your comfort zone you feel less confident.

Additionally, confidence in a particular area doesn’t of its own accord remain at a fixed level.  Instead, it is at times strong and at times not as strong.  It is also influenced by how well things are going around us – if things are trending in the direction we wish them to go then our confidence will be stronger than when things are not going in the direction, or as smoothly, as we would want.

The opposite of self-confidence is self doubt.  We doubt ourselves when we do not believe we can execute and accomplish something - when we believe we are not good enough we are not driven to try. And if we try, it is with such a frail effort that failure is almost assured. Without confidence we lack the energy and the will to ‘go for it’.

Confidence is impacted substantially by three powerful underpinning elements – belief, courage, and enthusiasm.  Without these, or with a deficiency in any one of them, it is likely that your level of self confidence will suffer.  In the movie ‘The Company Men’ people we lost their jobs were taught to energize themselves by repeating: “I will win. Why? Because I have faith, courage and enthusiasm.”

Belief

If you can believe, all things are possible to him that believes (Mark 9:23).  Belief it would seem is a fundamental element in self confidence and achieving our goals.  In moving towards your goal, there are two beliefs that are crucial.  The first belief is that the goal is achievable, i.e. it is possible. The second is that you have or can access the means (i.e. the knowledge, skills, and other resources) to succeed.

 Courage

The number one reason people don’t pursue their goals, it is said, is because of fear, and in particular fear of failure.  Doubt and fear almost always follow a commitment to achieve. One way to look at them is as a form of ‘reality check’ to ensure that you have thought through your chosen course.  They tell you that “you can’t do it because” (…you don’t have the resources …others have tried and failed…you are going on a fool’s errand…and on and on it goes).  By thinking through how you can overcome these limitations, having planned your next steps, the foundation of these fears will be shaken.    You then have to move forward irrespective of them.  Courage is taking that first step, and then the next, and then the next despite the fears and doubts.  With each successive step, however, it will become easier and the fears subside.

Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is that part of self confidence that provides the energy, the pizzazz or vitality. It puts the pep in your step and propels you to move towards your desire with excitement. It is what provides the wind in your sail and keeps you moving towards your goal at a pace.

Self confidence is an embodiment of these three elements. Boosting anyone of these will boost your level of confidence and propel you to the success that can be yours.

As Gordon Parkes puts it, “Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit.”

Improve Self Discipline And Reach Your Goals

A friend, of mine, John (name changed to protect is identity), frequently sets goals. He goes through the process of setting timelines, coming up with action plans.  He gets started and for a while seems to be doing fine. Somewhere along the way, though, he inexplicably abandons his quest.  Mind you, the goal or intent is still something he desires, and all the good reasons for its accomplishment are still valid.  But somehow, he can’t seem to do, with any consistency, what he knows has to be done.

 Like John, a lot of us go through this cycle of setting goals and New Year resolutions only to have them thrown on our growing scrap heap of unrealized dreams. Great intentions as they are, we are just not disciplined enough to see our plans through.

Self discipline can be viewed as the ability to consistently take action or do the things we intend to do, when they should be done. It is the propensity to do what is required to achieve ones goals or desires.  Without self discipline it is likely that tasks, even though started, will not be executed with the kind of focused consistency of performance that is necessary to build up the momentum necessary to propel one forward. This momentum of course emanates from a habit of doing.

There are two chief reasons that appear stymie ones abilities. One is the propensity to fall back into the comfort of old familiar ways. The other is that people easily lose interests in tasks once the novelty of doing them wears off.  Overcoming these two issues takes discipline.  Without it, we will simply give in to our baser desires and old routines (habits).

Developing Self Discipline  

Developing self discipline is not the easiest thing in the world. Sure the actions to be taken aren’t complex, but overcoming the stubborn harnesses of our old habits, need for instant gratification and novelty is not easy.

So what can John do to develop self discipline and get back on track to achieve his goal? Here are six things that he could do:

1.       Be sure that the reasons he wants to achieve the goal are important enough to him:  It is no good doing something that is not of consequence to him and to which he attaches no great importance.

2.       Break goals down into bite size activities:  If he views the enormity of his goal and try to do too much at once he will become daunted.

3.       Schedule the activities to be done and stick with the schedule:  If things are loose and he starts to do things haphazardly then chances are he will delay taking action until it reaches a stage where he just doesn’t bother .

4.       Use will power to start tasks on time and stick to them: This is particularly important when he gets that ‘I can’t be bothered feeling’. If the mood isn’t right he will need to summon his will power to get going.

5.       Develop the habit of doing/ taking action: This is accomplished through consistency and sticking to a new form of behavior long enough for it to take root.  Initially will power might be needed but as new ways are learned and taken on they become fixed and his execution will become more efficient and habitual.

6.       Engage other(s) who will help keep you accountable:  These may be mentors, coaches, friends or family members who are committed to him accomplishing his goals.  This will help keep him focused and also has the bonus of adding fresh perspective when needed.

The above tips can enhance self discipline and get one back on track to achieving one’s goals.