Why Do We Choose What We Want And What To Do About It?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you want something, whether it is a physical item, like more money, or new phone; or a status change like getting a higher office position at work, being selected president of your social club?

Many years ago in marketing class, a lecturer said, “People do not really buy what they buy; they buy what the things they buy do for them.” He went on to explain that a person buying a bit for a drill is really buying a hole and the person buying a car is not really buying the car, but rather what the car represents or does for her –which could be admiration of her friends, status, fun, safety, savings, etc.

Some say the reason we want things is because they satisfy a need (benefit or end state).

What you will find is that the need or reason why you want what you want may be fulfilled in different ways.  For example, a person looking for safety may decide to get herself a firearm, another person may join a self-defense class, while yet another may get potions and charms (everyone according to her way, I guess).  The want is therefore only the means, and the need the end.  There exists a number of wants that can satisfy a need.

So if any of several means (wants) can satisfy an end (a need), what determines which of them we want? What causes us to zero-in on one want as oppose to others?  Well, provided that there is no external pressure (like you being forced or influenced by someone else or circumstances) a want will be based on your hierarchy of values – a nice way of saying the order in which things are important to you - and the choices available to you.

Everyone has an order or rank of the things she values:  Family, comfort, independence, power, belonging to a group, taste, beauty, honesty, speed, contact, and a whole host of other things too numerous to be listed here.  Everybody also has limited options open to them, usually because of limited resources, like time, money, products, location etc.

Your want will be determined by the choices available to you and the degree to which they are aligned to or satisfy your highest ranked values. Let’s say in travelling you value speed, savings, comfort and status – in that order.  Chances are in a trip from say, Atlanta to Miami, you may choose a low-cost carrier, and fly economy. While someone whose values are speed, status, comfort, and savings - in that order - may choose a brand name carrier and fly first class.

So you want what you want because of its ability to provide the benefit you want (go to Miami from Georgia) and then, the choices available (by car, bus or plane) and finally, the degree to which each choice satisfy your hierarchy of values.

A person wanting to lose weight would make a similar shift.  Having made that shift then her order of values in relation to satisfying her hunger would change.  So instead of going on taste, cost effectiveness, convenience, and health (if that was the order) she would perhaps adjust to health, cost effectiveness, taste and convenience.

The thing is that you are not changing the values, just adjusting their order. In the example above, the first level value was to satisfy taste, this could still remain and health moved up, say to second spot, and a chicken salad becomes the want instead some greasy or fried food.

 I have cut back on eating some unhealthy food using a similar re-orienting of values. I have also been able to cut down on time spent watching television and now read a lot more by re-orienting values to do with how I spend my spare time.  The thing is that you are not changing the values, just adjusting their order.

 Why is this important? Well, if you want to change the choices you make when satisfying a particular need, then you could make an adjustment in the order of the values associated with that need. Little tactics like these can go a far way in making incremental changes that allow you to take charge of your life and realizing your dreams.